On a snowy, winter night, many years ago a group of championship cheerleaders were driving back to Edmonton when the school bus they were riding in swerved off the road and crashed. By the time rescuers arrived there were no remains left. There was a path of lipstick and gore that they followed and it led them to a group of girls feasting on the body of a helpless victim. The girls screamed for BRAAIIIINNNS and ROLLLLER SKAAATES! Fearing for their lives the rescuers provided both and the E-Ville Dead rose to be the roller derby team you love and fear.
Coach Pauly Coach
Cheekyaka "Cheeks" Co-Captain
Cheeky lives to break things: rules, hearts, noses...she's not picky. Likes: cigars, riesling, diamonds Dislikes: green tags, small guns Fave quote: "There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out." (Mae West)
Dragstrip Dolly Co-Captain
A double agent from a Russian Derby League. She's here to collect our secrets to take back to the Motherland. She blends in quite well so make sure you don't accidently give her your credit card and favorite pair of skates
Ghetto comes from the 'hood of ice and snow, but she will melt your heart with one frosty stare. This is one pretty little Rose, but don't get it twisted, GhettoRose will cut you, cut you for realz. After all, she's just a ghetto girl living in a ghetto world. A ghettofabulous world. Likes: boys named Thor, clubbing seals, and stalactites Dislikes: global warming, holes in boats, Bjork
Lady Sadistaaka "Lady"
When this lady isn't turning heads she's busy smashing them into the ground. She's never fully satisfied unless she's causing pain to anyone that gets in her way. With 8 wheels under her feet, and the taste of blood on her toongue, Lady will leave you bleeding and screaming for more!Likes: Arm whips, thigh highs, and Slasher flicks. Dislikes: Your face, broken high heels, and boys who cry.
Mary F'n Sunshineaka "Mary"
The sweetest thing on a pair of skates. Don't mistake that sweetness for weakness, though; with a bat of her eyelashes and a wiggle of her hips she'll pass you on the track. Likes: Whiskers on kittens, rainbows, bunnies & black eyes Dislikes: lizards, dog bites, eggplant & broken shoelaces.
Portia de Saucy
A freak combine accident caused Hellon to lose her sight at a young age; she was relieved when it suddenly came back at a roller derby game. As soon as she saw the hip checks and arm whips, she knew what she was destined to do.
Urethra Franklin, the godmother of Soul and Urine, joined derby the same day she smashed all 20 of her Grammy's because she lost a hot dog eating contest. She enjoys throwing things, screaming, big hair, and being the best.
Tuf Luvaka "Tuf"
This cute little package is one tough lady. Tuf Luv gives new meaning to the phrase "Love Hurts" with her pint sized power packed hits and quick thinking. Tuf will have you falling head over heels in luv as your head hits the track and she skates by you. Ain't no love like Tuf Luv.
KISS of Beth Living Dead
KISS of Beth came to derby to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and she's all outta bubble gum.
Megzilla Living Dead
Megzilla was once a nice girl from the heart of B.C. but when she came across the Alberta border and discovered a batch of radioactive waste, good turned to eville. Many cities were left destroyed and devastated by her wrath. To save the people the Canadian Military relocated her to E-Ville Roller Derby where they have since trained her to channel her anger to hips, whips and hits - watch out!
Twiggie Living Dead
Likes anything with an engine preferably a small block chevy dragster and a Kawasaki drag bike, the only loves in her life are a vw and little red ninja.