Boni Jovi

Jovi has the other team livin' on a prayer with her hard hits and blood on blood attitude. Spending most of her teenhood as a runaway and out of love, she grew up mean and tough. We hear she's wanted dead or alive around these parts, so we keep her well hidden within the ranks of the EVRD. If you go head to head with Boni Jovi, we hope you've got something for the pain, 'cause you just may choke on her bad medicine.


Call the fashion police cause Thrashinsita is out of control! Her number "half-off" refers to how she'll leave her competition's limbs, her lipstick and your pants. Thrash draws inspiration from bad-ass chicks like Joan Jett and Pat Benatar and is often overheard yelling "You Better run, you better hide" while knocking girls down on the track. She may look cute in her her uniform, but that Thrash is hell-on-wheels, baby. Rrrrr!

1/2 off

Tamurculosis will make your lungs burn when she chases you around the track. If you don't want to get infected, you better keep out of her reach. There's no vaccination that can keep you safe from this deadly skater.

10 feet
  Hell'on Keller

A freak combine accident caused Hellon to lose her sight at a young age; she was relieved when it suddenly came back at a roller derby game. As soon as she saw the hip checks and arm whips, she knew what she was destined to do.

  Hot Wing

Hot wing first heard about roller derby while drinking away her frustrations at her neighborhood pub. Once she sobered up, she met up with E-ville at the local roller rink and discovered that her fiery temper made her a natural. Now, instead of just turning to alcohol, she takes her anger out on others. You better get out of her way if you don't want to get burned. Likes: ranch dressing, vodka, and inflicting bruises dislikes: blue cheese, hangovers and broken bones.

3rd Degree Burn

Being raised by organic hippies with no TV or radio, Peaches always wondered if there was more out there. One day a poster came drifting into town; talk spread about the wild women of E-Ville Roller Derby, making a name for themselves with their hard hits and short shirts. Her curiosity was piqued. She made her escape from the farm country in the back of a pick up truck, and rolled into E-Ville just over a year ago. Now she lives her dreams in lights, sending home postcards full of rebellion.

  Babe Slamenko

Found as a wee babe in the penalty box of the Edmonton Gardens arena wearing an old ratty Semenko jersey, Babe Slamenko grew up loving hockey fights, hard shoulder checks and right crosses. Thinking that professional hockey had gotten soft, Babe longed for a new sport. She eventually found roller derby, where she could indulge in high speed, hard hits and the occasional "accidental" elbow. Don't make her mad, or she'll send you to the dentist while she gets sent to the penalty bench!

  Stepford Scythe

Suburbia must be culled.

Perfect 10.0
  Wonkey Kong

Lightning crashes. And in the jungle, deep in the heart of Africa, an ape is born, wearing roller skates. Deserted by its band, discovered by German barrel makers, sold to a traveling Romanian circus and abandoned in the frozen Canadian tundra, a lost ape wanders. You can take the ape out of the jungle, but you cannot take the jungle out of the ape; and so, an angry, barrel-hating, knuckle-dragging, coffee-swilling, roller-skating creature remains. It is of two worlds - but it belongs to none. It's on like Wonkey Kong.

  Frau Nein

  Cheeky aka "Cheeks"

Cheeky lives to break things: rules, hearts, noses...she's not picky. Likes: cigars, riesling, diamonds Dislikes: green tags, small guns Fave quote: "There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out." (Mae West)